The Art of Saying Goodbye by Ellyn Bache

The day before I left for Ohio, Ellyn Bache's The Art of Saying Goodbye arrived in the mail. I loved the cover. And, even though I knew it was another novel about a group of women and a friend who died of cancer, I brought it with me. I enjoy novels that feature groups of women.

It's obvious from the opening pages that Paisley Lamm is going to die. The entire neighborhood in Brightwood Trace has tied white ribbons to their trees so Paisley can see them coming or going. But, it's four of the women whose feelings are uncovered in the course of the story. Ten years earlier, those four women, Andrea, Ione, Ginger, and Julianne, accepted an invitation for an evening in Paisley's hot tub. Although the women never really developed a closeness, that evening changed lives, and changed their feelings about Paisley, the bright star of the neighborhood who everyone admired and envied at the same time.

Bache's novel covers just a brief period of time, a couple months, with flashbacks to earlier episodes. In a departure from other women's novels, the five women in this book are not close. But, each woman reflects on her relationship with Paisley. Andrea thought of Paisley as her best friend, the woman who helped her through her daughter's own bout with cancer. Ione, a widow, held herself aloof from the group. Paisley pushed Ginger and her husband into better lives, suggesting career changes. And, Julianne, who crashed ten years later, became a nurse practitioner, the one who discovered Paisley's cancer. Then, there's Paisley herself. It's not until page 77 that the author allows Paisley's voice to be heard, and then only in flashbacks. Until then, and in most of the book, the reader sees Paisley only through the eyes of the others.

Paisley Lamm's life, her brief bout with cancer, and her death, changed many in the neighborhood. Bache focuses on the women, but, it's also interesting to watch the reactions of teenage daughters, Paisley's and other girls. The Art of Saying Goodbye does not always show people in flattering ways, but it's more realistic than many novels.

On a personal note, this was fascinating. Paisley Lamm suffered from the same cancer my husband died from, pancreatic cancer with metastis to the liver. It's a cancer that moves quickly, particularly once it progresses to the liver. And, Paisley went through many of the stages that Jim went through, ones that I did not know were typical of this type of cancer. In both cases, it was a fast-moving disease.

Everyone has secrets in their lives. And, every life impacts people in differing ways. Ellen Bache's The Art of Saying Goodbye is unusual in showing that in a novel that doesn't bring friends closer, but allows women to be different, and unique.

Ellyn Bache's website is www.ellynbache.com

The Art of Saying Goodbye by Ellyn Bache. William Morrow. ©2011. ISBN 9780062033680 (paperback). 344p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - The publisher sent me a copy of the book, hoping I would review it.

Cleo: The Cat Who Mended a Family by Helen Brown

The Herald Sun summarized this book the best with the quote, "From the start, this is an emotional journey for author and reader."  If you're not prepared to cry over Helen Brown's international bestseller, Cleo: The Cat Who Mended a Family, don't pick it up.  However, if you want a story of love, survival, and life, and you love cats, you'll have to read this book.  Some blurbs have compared this to Marley & Me.  If the love of an animal can be compared, then that's fine.  Marley & Me, and Dewey are both special books about unique animals.  But, this book is unique in the tragedy and change covered in one story.

Helen Brown lived in New Zealand with her husband and two sons, Sam and Rob.  She was a columnist for a local paper, and her husband, Steve, was a radio officer on a ferry, away from home for a week at a time.  Although they were drifting apart, they both loved their sons.  So, when Sam and Rob picked out a kitten, too young to bring home, and Sam named her Cleo, Helen and Steve agreed to take her in a few months, although they weren't "cat people."

Helen describes the day that changed their lives.  She says days are so similar, they just become routine.  "The twenty-first of January 1983 started out that way.  There were no hints this date would slam down on us and slice our lives permanently in two."  There's no way to review this book and not say that Sam died tragically at the age of nine.  While Helen raged and cried, Steve shut down.  And, Rob, at six, had witnessed his brother's death. 

This was a family in trouble.  So, when the owner of Cleo showed up to turn her over, Helen wanted to refuse the kitten.  But, Rob immediately claimed "Sam's kitten."  And, how can a mother who lost one son refuse the other?  Rob had been sleeping in his parents' room since his brother's death.  Now, with a kitten to care for, he wanted to return to his room, offering to share his room with the kitten, so she wouldn't miss "her brothers and sisters."  Even so, when the new kitten tore the house apart, and caused havoc, Helen was ready to return her, until one day she realized that she and Rob had laughed at Cleo, laughed for the first time since Sam's death.

As anyone who owns a cat knows, they're always entertaining, with unique personalities.  And Cleo seemed to have a special gift of communicating with Rob.  And, as Cleo grew, she brought new people into their lives, from special neighbors to friends for Rob, to people that would change the family entirely.  Cleo would never take the place of Sam, and there is no recovering from such a loss, but Cleo showed Helen and her family how to go on with life.  Rob said of Cleo, "She said she comes from a long line of cat healers." 

There is no doubt this book will make you cry.  The author acknowledges that her life was changed forever by her son's death.  But, this cat, who appeared when the family needed her, seemed to step in so many times to move them into another stage.  When Helen considered suicide, there was the kitten, blocking her way.  Cleo welcomed new family members, and approved of new additions.  When Rob was ill, she was the healer.  There was always a special connection between Rob, the boy who witnessed his brother's death, and the cat who came to stay. 

Helen Brown's broken heart will never heal.  But, her story of Cleo and her family says a family, and a heart, can be mended.  This book is beautiful in the story of a cat, and a family.  And, there's beauty in Brown's recognition, "Great joy doesn't obliterate grief.  Both can be encompassed at the same time."  Cleo: The Cat Who Mended a Family, was the cat who enabled her to realize the joy in life, despite the grief.

Cleo: The Cat Who Mended a Family by Helen Brown.  Kensington Publishing, ©2010. ISBN 9780806533032 (paperback), 272p.

*****

FTC Full Disclosure - The publicist sent me an ARC so I could participate in a blog tour for this book.

Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt

There's no happy ending to Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt. And, it's a book that made me cry so that I had to stop wearing my reading glasses while halfway through. But, it's life, and it's death, and it really says we go on after death, one piece of toast at a time.

Amy Elizabeth Rosenblatt Solomon died on December 8, 2007. She was only 38. She was a physician, but, even more important, she was a wife, a mother of three, and a daughter. Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt, Amy's parents, moved in with her husband, Harris, and the three children as they tried to make life as normal as possible for the children. And, Roger's household duty, that he mastered, was making toast.

Alice McDermott was speaking of a book when she said to Roger, "The greatest tragedy that a couple could face is the loss of a child." And, each day, an angry Roger faced the loss of a wonderful young woman. As much as they mourned her death, they were forced to celebrate her life as well, to help her own children live their lives. The nanny for the children told them, "You are not the first to go through such a thing, and you are better able to handle it than most."

Roger Rosenblatt offers no platitudes for going on. He's angry at God. He knows life goes on. And he acknowledges, "We will never feel right again." At the same time, he and his wife and his son-in-law are showing the three children that they are loved and valued, and life does move on.

Every day, Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt, and Harris Solomon, participate in the lives of the three children, Jessica, Sammy, and James. They take them to school, sporting events, parties, play dates. They get them dressed, take them for special outings, celebrate family occasions. And, they do it all without Amy Rosenblatt Solomon's presence. They just try to allow the children to lead normal lives, despite the pain all of the adults are feeling.

My husband, Jim, died four months ago today. Roger Rosenblatt's story is not a wonderful, or even unique, story. It's just about life. And, it's about acknowledging that sometimes, you just cope with death. You cope with death one step at time, one day at a time. Sometimes, it's just by Making Toast.

Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt. HarperCollins, ©2010. ISBN 9780061825934 (hardcover), 166p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book