Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler

So, it's religion day here. If you don't want to read about the problems in the Catholic Church, you can read about Ira Wagler's memoir, Growing Up Amish. It's packed with details about Amish life, but, ultimately, it's the story of a young person searching for answers, and faith.

Ira Wagler grew up in an Amish home, the ninth of eleven children. His father, David, was known worldwide in the Amish community, one of the few with a degree, and a passion for writing that he shared in a magazine he launched, Family Life. But, while he poured his energy into his writing, some of his sons couldn't live the Amish lifestyle, with no cars, no electricity, no telephones. And, some Amish communities were stricter than others. Wagler commented, "Even among the Amish, other Amish seem odd."

Wagler tells his story, and, briefly, that of his brothers and sisters. An older sister left home, and became a Mennonite. When Ira was ten, he says of his mother's second son, "Jesse was the first of her sons to pack a bag and simply walk away into the night. He would not be the last." Ira's youngest brother, Nathan, walked away in broad daylight, with his mother crying behind him. That's why so many of the Amish young people leave during the night, so as not to listen to their mothers' cries. Ira walked away from the Amish life five times, the last time for good. And, four times he came back, afraid to leave the life he knew, while he feared eternal damnation if he left. He always felt a tug-of-war between the Amish world and the English world, the outside world.

Novels of Amish life are popular because the outside world wonders about the people and their lifestyle. Now, Ira Wagler reveals what it was like for a restless young man to grow up in that culture, a strict environment filled with complex rules and restrictions. It wasn't the place for a softhearted, sensitive soul, a young man who craved freedom. He provides the details readers crave about life, the family life, the church, the school, the community. But, he also tells the sad story of a young man who tried to succeed in that world, but had to walk away for the sake of his sanity.

Once you've read Ira Wagler's account, that book cover becomes a more powerful image. I'm sure Wagler meant his memoir to show that he succeeded. He found answers, faith, and comfort in life. At the same time, that's still a lonesome image, the Amish young man walking away. And, Growing Up Amish is still a sad, and lonely, story.

Ira Wagler's website is www.irawagler.com

Growing Up Amish by Ira Wagler. Tyndale House. ©2011. ISBN 9781414339368 (paperback), 288p.


*****
FTC Full Disclosure - I picked up an ARC in the reference room at our Main Library.

The Reading Promise by Alice Ozma

Anyone whose parents shared a love of reading will have a hard time letting go of Alice Ozma's book. The Reading Promise is subtitled "My Father and the Books We Shared." It could have easily been subtitled, "How books got us through life." This is a touching book that will probably leave you a little angry when you finish. No, you won't be angry at the author or her father, just at the state of the world.

Alice's father, Jim Brozina, wrote the forward to this book. His memories of the reading promise differ from his daughter's, and both of them give their account. What matters, though, is that the two of them read together every day from the time Alice was nine until the day she moved into her college dorm. And, they made a commitment. Alice's father would read to her for at least ten minutes every night. "The Streak," as they called it, started as a promise to read for 100 nights. They both agree that it was at the celebration of that accomplishment that they decided to make it 1000 nights. In reality, they read for 3,218 nights.

Alice Ozma's father spent 38 years as an elementary school librarian. His love of books and reading is something he shared with his youngest daughter, who name was actually Kristen Alice Ozma Brozina. He was the one who gave her the two middle names of Alice Ozma, naming her after two of his favorite literary characters. Although his oldest daughter asked him to stop reading to her in fourth grade, Alice loved the opportunity she had to spend time with her father. She loved the literary world they shared. That time together, and books, got her through the Thanksgiving her mother left them, the years of growing up with a single father who did his best, but didn't always understand girls. Those books brought Alice and her father close in a way living together never really did.

There's an old poem my mother paraphrased when she gave me a pillow with a picture of my father reading to me copied on the pillow. Both of my sisters have one as well. It says, "Richer than me you will never be. I had a father who read to me." The years and stories that Alice Ozma shared with her father are memories she treasures. So many readers have memories of someone in our life who shared that passion for stories. I can't wait to share this book, and the passion, with the other librarians in the system.

Alice Ozma blogs at http://aliceozma.wordpress.com

The Reading Promise: My Father and the Books We Shared by Alice Ozma. Grand Central Publishing. ©2011. ISBN 9780446583770 (hardcover). 304p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book

The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels-A Love Story by Ree Drummond

I'll get back to mysteries in a few days.  In the meantime, in honor of Valentine's Day, I have a romance or two to share, beginning with Ree Drummond's funny, romantic memoir, The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - a Love Story.  I'm not setting out to find myself a cowboy, but I heard from a New Yorker the other day who was pretty interested in meeting one after reading Ree's story.

Ree Drummond was just home from LA and college, ending a four year relationship.  Her Oklahoma hometown wasn't small, but it didn't have the excitement she craved, and Ree was all set to move to Chicago.  Then, near Christmas, she went to bar with friends, and spotted an attractive cowboy across the room.  For the boy crazy young woman, it was lust at first sight, and she spent the evening talking with the cowboy she called "Marlboro Man."  But, he didn't call.

Four months later, Ree had an apartment on hold in Chicago when Marlboro Man called.  And, his "confident, commanding presence on the phone" interested her.  As they began to spend every evening together, she learned how little they had in common.  He lived in the country, was a rancher, and loved football.  She grew up on a golf course, with a father who was a doctor, and she studied ballet.  But, it wasn't long before Ree didn't know what to do with her life.  "My big city plans - plans many months in the making - had all at once been smashed to smithereens by a six-foot cowboy with manure on his boots."  And, she'd actually only spent three weeks with him at that time.

Ree Drummond is the bestselling author of The Pioneer Woman Cooks.  She originally told her story on her blog, The Pioneer Woman.  But, readers fell in love with her story of her romance.  It's a story I'll let you read for yourself because no one is going to capture the humor and the charm of the storyteller herself as she relates the romance, the problems along the way, and the story of her first year of marriage.  This story is better than most romances because it's true, the story of a woman who, according to her, found the one man on earth who would appreciate her imperfections.  And, it's probably what most people long for on Valentine's Day, and always.  Here's the chance to share glimpses of that with Ree Drummond's The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - A Love Story.

Ree Drummond's website is www.ThePioneerWoman.com

The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels to Tractor Wheels - A Love Story by Ree Drummond.  HarperCollins, ©2011. ISBN 9780061997167 (hardcover), 341p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book

Susan Pohlman for Authors @ The Teague

Susan Pohlman, author of Halfway to Each Other: How a Year in Italy Brought Our Family Home, is one of the most inspirational authors I've ever heard.  Her program for Authors @ The Teague was a treat.

Pohlman said she didn't expect any of those experiences to happen to her, from the story in the book, to writing the book, so she was just going to speak from her heart.  She and her family were living in Los Angeles.  Her husband was in the radio business.  They had been married for sixteen years, together for five before that.  They had two kids, and their marriage had just run its course.  There comes a time in so many marriages when they've just run its course.  And, that hurt.  Susan was a teacher who devoted her life to supporting families.  So, she was heartbroken, but, without telling her husband, Tim, she went to a lawyer. 

Then her husband came home and asked if she wanted to go with him on an incentive trip to Italy.  Before the economy went bad, radio and TV stations offered incentive trips.  If you spent X amount of money, you'd be taken on a trip.  So, they would be entertaining clients on this trip.  Susan didn't think it was a good idea to go on the trip with things falling apart.  But, her husband kept pushing, and at the last minute she decided she could suffer through Italy and go on the last trip.  They were taking forty clients for six days.  They arrived in Florence, and it just knocked her sideways; it was so beautiful.  There was something spiritual about it with the ancient streets and building, and the artwork. 

Pohlman said she was overwhelmed at feeling so alive.  In LA, you can get caught up in all the nonsense, and lose your soul.  But, she was knocked off her axis in Florence.  Tim felt the same way.  On day four, they went to Liguria in northwestern Italy.  It's a tiny area, and they were in the town of Santa Margherita.  It was a free day, and Tim and Susan had to spend the day together.  They planned to rent Vespas, but when they arrived at the Vespa store, it never opened.  So, they walked back along the water, and Tim said, "I could live here," and, she agreed, and thought, but not together.  And, he repeated, "No, I could REALLY live here," with a look in his eyes that said let's move her.  Susan said that's not a good idea, but he wouldn't let up.  They had a conversation, asking what happened to us.  He said he would quit his job if she'd consider it.  She knew how serious he was because he was in his early 40s, in charge of six radio stations, what he'd worked for his entire life.  So, she said, if there's an American school, I'll consider it. 

They headed to Genoa, the largest city in the area, a very Italian city.  They found the American school, and the principal was even there that late in the day.  He said they were really crowded, but when he heard their children were 11 and 15 at the time, he said, what a coincidence.  Those were the only two classes with openings.  So Tim and Susan agreed they only had one day to find a place to live.  If they could do that, they would move there.  There's only one realtor for the area, and the realtor said there was one apartment, but they couldn't see it until 5 at night.  And, the whole time, Susan's mind was saying no, but her heart was saying yes.  It was a very spiritual moment.  When they arrived at the apartment, they found a seven-story building with a very tiny elevator.  And, Susan said, if it's a dump, we're not staying.  They agreed, if it wasn't a dump, they'd stay.  And, all along she thought it's going to be a dump.  The apartment was on the top floor, and when they stepped in, they were hit by a wall of glass overlooking the Ligurian Sea, just a beautiful place with wooden floors.  So, they agreed they'd have to do this.  Against all intelligence, Susan Pohlman signed her name to a lease in Italian that she couldn't read.  She was forty-four.  Her family was falling apart.  The stress of his job was killing her husband.  And, they decided to take a risk.

They went back to LA.  Susan's husband quit his job.  They sold their house (at a time when houses still sold), and sold other stuff.  That's what they lived on.  Within eight weeks, they had packed up their kids, Katie and Matt, and were living in Italy.  They decided to put their lives in God's hands, and see what happened.  They experienced adventure and the Italian culture.  Tim and Susan didn't work for a year, and when school started the kids were in school.  They saved their family, and renewed their marriage.

This was in 2003, the same year Elizabeth Gilbert was there working on Eat, Pray, Love.  That was the summer there was a heat wave, and thousands of people died in Europe.  They were all hot and sweat.  They had two kids with them.  They were all displaced and didn't speak the language.  They put all the pettiness aside, and built a home again.  They travelled extensively, but never took the kids out of school.  The kids blossomed there.  They had no car.  And, the kids developed a deep friendship, something that might not have happened in this country with the two of them in different schools, different sports, and going different directions. 

Pohlman said they had the emotional space there to start over, and they found each other.  Americans live exhausting lives.  But, the Pohlmans ran out of money eventually.  They couldn't work there, so they came back to LA.  It was a harder transition coming back to our culture than it was going there.  But, they started over, and did it peacefully, after seeing the downside of abundance.  In a nutshell, that's what the book, Halfway to Each Other, is about.  The book ends the day they leave Italy.

Asked how the book came about, Pohlman said before they went to Italy, she had been learning to write screenplays.  She studied it, and how to write scenes.  One girlfriend told her not to go, that it was a big mistake.  But, others asked her to write and tell them what it was like, with no holds barred.  So, Susan wrote to her friends, telling about moments, and writing them in scenes.  Soon she had a little following.  The family arrived in Italy in July.  In November, a friend who worked for the Washington Times wrote, saying he thought she should quit sending the scenes because she just might have a book.  So, she kept writing those series of moments.  When she finished writing, she tried to find an agent, which is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.  When she did, the agent tried to sell it, but it was hard to sell after Eat, Pray, Love. 

The book has finally started taking off a little because it's striking a chord.  People are struggling in this economy.  Families are struggling, and people are losing everything.  They are finding great hopefulness in this story.

Asked about her daughter, who didn't want to leave Italy at the end of the book, Susan reminded us that Katie was fifteen when they got there in July.  By the end of October, she was settled in with friends.  She just blossomed, turning into a woman.  With the buses and trains, she could travel without her mother driving.  She had friends from all over.  For the first time, she had relationships not based on social pressure.  There was no materialism in those friendships, just young people having fun. 

It was hard for Katie when they got back.  They immediately put her into school, and it was the same culture as when they left.  She was in a school with kids with lots of money.  And, they were mean girls.  Katie was now a junior, and everyone was mean to her.  So, they moved her to a larger school, with a more diverse population, and it clicked.  She's twenty-two now, living in San Francisco.  She's going to be a teacher, and she minored in Italian.  She's going to bring a global view to her classroom. 

Matthew was the easygoing one, so he was happy to be anywhere.  He's going to be attending Ohio State. 

They had returned home, and neither Tim nor Susan had jobs.  Tim said he'd like to start his own business.  It would take the last of their savings, but Susan said she'd learned the secret to surrendering.  Within six months, he had a partner, and bought two radio stations in Phoenix, and two in Las Vegas.  She got a job as an assistant principal.  And, then it started all over again.  Tim was never home, since he had to travel.  So, she said, they needed to honor their family, and move to one of the markets.  They moved to this area, but he eventually lost the business as the economy went to hell.  So, here they were in Arizona, and neither of them had jobs.  But, now Tim runs the three CBS radio stations here.  She said she wouldn't have changed it all all.  They like it here in Arizona.

Asked if they've been back, Susan said they can't stay away.  They've been back to Italy three times.  They took clients.  Katie went to school in Florence, and they went then.  They still know people there.  Facebook and Skype has helped, and they remain friends.

When she was asked if they picked up the language, Pohlman said somewhat by the time they left.  She found it hard.  It took a while to pick up enough to understand.  The kids had it in school, so it was easier for them.  Susan still couldn't really learn it.  She said she could understand and use nouns.  It's a tough language.

One question was about health care.  She said they have socialized health care, so you can go right to the hospital and they'll take care of you.  Her daughter got sick, and they took care of her.  But, there are private clinics, too, where they speak English.  And, doctors still make housecalls.  When Matt ran a high fever, the doctor came to the house with his little black bag. 

One couple was particularly interested in going to Italy, so Pohlman recommended Untour.com, a company her parents use.  It covers the hidden infrastructure.  It finds you a place to live, a car, the what happens if.  It's a safety net while you stay in another country.

Asked what next, Pohlman said they're going to be empty nesters with their son going to college.  She's writing another book.  She's developed her voice.  And, she thinks she's more savvy about the marketplace.  Marketing her book is the hardest thing she's ever done.  And, she knows she has to look at evergreen topics.  So, she's found a topic that people want.  Pohlman just turned fifty.  It's a transition.  So, she's writing about it.  It's a topic that should be attractive to book buyers. 

Susan said they stay the same place everytime they go back to Italy.  They learned to relax about life.  Here, we worry about wasting time.  There, she learned not to mind about wasting time.  It was important just to be there, and live that life. 

She admitted the only thing she would have done differently was probably learn the language a little earlier before going, but they only had eight weeks to get ready, so there really wasn't time.

Susan Pohlman had an important message for closing.  "If you have an adventure in your heart, DO IT!"

Susan Pohlman's website is http://www.susanpohlman.com/


Halfway to Each Other: How a Year in Italy Brought Our Family Home by Susan Pohlman. Guideposts, ©2009. ISBN 9780824947804 (hardcover), 272p.

Fool Me Once by Rick Lax

Last May, I reviewed Richard Roeper's Bet the House, a book about his gambling experiences.  When Rick Lax of Las Vegas Weekly read that review, he agreed with my opinion that it was repetitious, and asked if I'd review his book, Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas.  Lax' book is his own story of his first experiences in Vegas, when he accidentally moved there.

Rick Lax had a disastrous experience with a girl in Chicago who had been conned by a drug dealer, graduated from law school, passed the bar exam, and, instead of backpacking through Europe as other law school grads did, packed his magic kit, and headed to Las Vegas with his mother for a short stay.  Knowing his girlfriend had been the victim of a scam, he intended to learn everything about deception, so he could protect himself.  But, as the woman who became his roommate told him, "The city sucks people in.  Nobody under thirty moves out of Vegas."  Lax is still in Vegas, where he learned quite a bit about deception, and quite a bit about himself.

Lax' roommate, a Russian dancer, provided access for him to clubs, and other people.  Along the way, he dated a bartender, but never trusted her, hung out with other magicians, studying them, and their deception, played poker, and watched other card players.  He does tell stories of hustlers and hookers.  It's a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the people tourists never think of when they think of Vegas, the hard-working people.  But, Lax is careful to point out how deceptive the entire town is, from the giant hotels to the allowance of free admission to casino staff at clubs so crowds attract tourists.

Fool Me Once is Lax' own admission that he went to Vegas looking for deception and lies, found some, and, created his own reality.  Lax is an intelligent man, widely read, who can quote experts and psychological studies.  And, he's very self-aware, that, in looking for deception, he overlooked the truth.  It's an interesting story of fakes and fraud in Vegas.  But, it's also a sad confession of what Rick Lax had made of himself, in expecting to find cheaters.  And, I have the feeling Rick Lax won't fool himself twice.

Rick Lax' website is http://www.ricklax.com/

Fool Me Once by Rick Lax.  St. Martin's Griffin, ©2011. ISBN 9780312545703 (paperback), 288p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - The author's publicist sent me a copy of the book, in hopes I would review it.

Halfway to Each Other by Susan Pohlman

I originally picked up Susan Pohlman's Halfway to Each Other because her story intrigued me, and she's appearing for Authors @ The Teague on Jan. 22.  But, I wasn't too far into the book when I fell for her beautiful writing, and began to care deeply about her family.   Susan Pohlman's memoir is a thoughtful, poignant look back at the year she and her family spent in Italy, a trip to save a marriage, a family, and to find a lost faith.

After eighteen years of marriage, Susan and Tim Pohlman were on the verge of divorce.   Tim was a successful radio executive, though, who took potential clients on trips, including a trip to Italy.  As a dutiful wife, Susan went along, thinking it would be their last trip together.  But, together, the two fell in love with Italy, and made a rash decision to sell everything, pack up their two kids, and move to Genoa for a year to try to salvage their family.  The woman who had married to the Gospel passage from Matthew 6:25-34 about reliance upon God, and how he would take care of us as well as he took care of the lilies of the field, had lost faith.  So, for one last time, she decided to listen to God's voice, and try to find the faith that her marriage and her family would survive.

In the time before Katie, 14, and Matt, 11, started school at the American International School, the Pohlmans found themselves relying on each other for companionship, spending all of their time together.  They experienced a great deal of culture shock, from differences in shopping to riding buses.  But, they came together as a family to solve problems.    And, once Katie and Matt started school, Tim and Susan had days to themselves to travel, and learn to enjoy each other all over again. 

Pohlman's book is the story of a year in a beautiful country, a place where the family learned to relax, and listen to each other.  But, she doesn't gloss over the difficulties.  The children had a hard time at first, and then a hard time leaving.  Tim and Susan took their problems with them to Italy, and had to learn to talk to each other.  But, they took their faith, and their hope for their future, and tried one last time to make it work. 

I love doorways.  I even take pictures of doorways, with the possibilities and secrets behind them.  So, the cover of Susan Pohlman's book drew me in.  Halfway to Each Other: How a Year in Italy Brought Our Family Home is everything that cover promises.   It's a journey into someone's life, a strange world behind that door.  It's a beautiful memoir, and, unlike so many popular stories, it has a happy ending.  Readers who enjoy travel memoirs might want to pick this one up. 
Susan Pohlman's website is http://www.susanpohlman.com/

Halfway to Each Other: How a Year in Italy Brought Our Family Home by Susan Pohlman.  Guideposts, ©2009. ISBN  9780824947804 (hardcover), 272p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book

Don't Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers by Adriana Trigiani

If you're very, very lucky, Adriana Trigiani's memoir, Don't Sing at the Table:  Life Lessons from My Grandmothers, will remind you of one of your grandmothers.  They don't even need to be Italian, as Trigiani's were.  They just need to be strong, independent women, who made lives for themselves, and inspired their grandchildren.  Trigiani made me appreciate my grandmothers all over again.

Trigiani is the New York Times bestselling author of books such as Big Stone Gap and Very Valentine.  As you read the stories of her grandmothers, Yolanda Perin Trigiani (Viola), and Lucia Spada Bonicelli, you not only read about their lives and their lessons, you see the roots of Trigiani's stories.  Viola was co-owner, with her husband, of a blouse factory, The Yolanda Manufacturing Company, in Martins Creek, Pennsylvania.  Lucia Spada Bonicelli, was a seamstress, who lost her husband, a shoemaker, early in life.  She continued to live in Chisholm, Minnesota, where she sewed and sold factory-made shoes.  But, she walked to the public library every day, and her twin daughters, one of whom was Adriana's mother, grew up to be librarians.  If you're a faithful reader of Trigiani's novels, I'm sure you've seen her characters and storylines in these short notes about her grandmothers.

But, Trigiani's grandmothers provided so much more than the meat for her stories.  She says she learned important lessons, how to create a fulfilling, peaceful, gracious, and secure life.  Admittedly, she goes into a great deal of detail in this book, but the advice she received over the years is worth sharing.   Trigiani doesn't hesitate to point out how disappointed her grandmothers would be in the direction taken by this country.  Her grandmother, Viola, wouldn't approve of a country that sends its manufacturing overseas, taking jobs away from Americans.   Lucy, a widow who sent three children to college, "Could not fathom Chisholm without a library, and wherever we live, we should not either."

As a granddaughter, and a widow, it's inspiring to read about two women who flourished after forty, working and sharing life with family and friends.   Don't Sing at the Table offers lessons for life.  But, if you're lucky, as I was, you will also remember lessons from the strong, independent women in your own lives.

Adriana Trigiani's website is http://www.adrianatrigiani.com/

Don't Sing at the Table:  Life Lessons from My Grandmothers by Adriana Trigiani.  HarperCollins, ©2010. ISBN 9780061958946 (hardcover), 204p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book

Muffins & Mayhem by Suzanne Beecher

Suzanne Beecher might be familiar to many readers from her daily columns through libraries, DearReader.com.  Or you might know her website, MuffinsandMayhem.com.  But, even if you've never "met" the author and book pusher who also shares recipes, you might want to try her memoir, Muffins & Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy (if Disorderly) Life.

Suzanne Beecher did not have an easy childhood.  An only child, she came from a household where both parents worked, her father drank, and her mother had high expectations for her daughter that included a great deal of work and chores.  Suzanne married at 16, when she was pregnant, and her parents never forgave her.  After giving birth, she took pills to lose weight, and became addicted.  She was a single mother at nineteen, a young woman who made bad choices, and remarried at twenty, to a man who was gay.  But, one good thing came from her addiction, the chance to enroll in school, qualifying for free tuition. 

It took time, but Suzanne Beecher found her way to a successful marriage that has lasted thirty-two years, and, despite her fears and feelings of inadequacy, a successful career as her own boss in various businesses and nonprofit enterprises.  There have been setbacks along the way, including health issues, but Beecher actually found a way to look beyond all of that.

And, it's those recipes and stories of life that she delights in sharing.  The book tells of her problems in life, and her failings, but it also includes her favorite stories and recipes, "The stories that keep me grounded in this unpredictable world."  She says her recipe box is filled with the necessities of life, "Stories to help keep me grounded and recipes for good stuff to eat." 

So, look beyond the hard times, although they helped to make her strong.  Suzanne had a grandmother she adored, and a husband she loves.  Her book not only includes recipes, and stories of her businesses, but also wonderful chapters of love and warmth.  The one about her husband, Bob, is special, called, "He Loves Me, He Loves Me a Lot."  And, since Beecher found resolution to her problems with her mother, the chapter to cry over is, "I Miss My Mother."

But, there's humor as well.  Suzanne's chapter, "Please Give This Woman a Job," talks about her fears she'll be bored in heaven, since one perk is "There's no need to work."  Her description of heaven?  "The streets are paved with gold, you get an automatic face-lift and tummy tuck when you pass through the Pearly Gates, you don't have to share a room, the water's nice and hot the minute you turn on the tap, and you get to see all of your friends and loved ones who have passed on before you.  My Grandma Hale and I have made a date for brunch the morning after I check in."

Suzanne Beecher's memoir is the story of a woman who has faced a challenging life, and found ways to surmount the challenges.  Muffins & Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy (if Disorderly) Life can be read for inspiration, the story of a life, or recipes.  It can also be read as a message from a friend who cares enough to share her life, her fears, and her successes.  Beecher is a friend who ends all of her DearReader.com book columns with the same message, one she shares in the book.  "Thanks for reading with me.  It's so good to read with friends."

Susanne Beecher's websites are DearReader.com and http://www.muffinsandmayhem.com/

Muffins & Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy (if Disorderly) Life by Suzanne Beecher.  Simon & Schuster, ©2010. ISBN 9781439112878 (hardcover), 233p.

*****
FTC Full Disclosure - Library book

Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt

There's no happy ending to Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt. And, it's a book that made me cry so that I had to stop wearing my reading glasses while halfway through. But, it's life, and it's death, and it really says we go on after death, one piece of toast at a time.

Amy Elizabeth Rosenblatt Solomon died on December 8, 2007. She was only 38. She was a physician, but, even more important, she was a wife, a mother of three, and a daughter. Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt, Amy's parents, moved in with her husband, Harris, and the three children as they tried to make life as normal as possible for the children. And, Roger's household duty, that he mastered, was making toast.

Alice McDermott was speaking of a book when she said to Roger, "The greatest tragedy that a couple could face is the loss of a child." And, each day, an angry Roger faced the loss of a wonderful young woman. As much as they mourned her death, they were forced to celebrate her life as well, to help her own children live their lives. The nanny for the children told them, "You are not the first to go through such a thing, and you are better able to handle it than most."

Roger Rosenblatt offers no platitudes for going on. He's angry at God. He knows life goes on. And he acknowledges, "We will never feel right again." At the same time, he and his wife and his son-in-law are showing the three children that they are loved and valued, and life does move on.

Every day, Roger and Ginny Rosenblatt, and Harris Solomon, participate in the lives of the three children, Jessica, Sammy, and James. They take them to school, sporting events, parties, play dates. They get them dressed, take them for special outings, celebrate family occasions. And, they do it all without Amy Rosenblatt Solomon's presence. They just try to allow the children to lead normal lives, despite the pain all of the adults are feeling.

My husband, Jim, died four months ago today. Roger Rosenblatt's story is not a wonderful, or even unique, story. It's just about life. And, it's about acknowledging that sometimes, you just cope with death. You cope with death one step at time, one day at a time. Sometimes, it's just by Making Toast.

Making Toast: A Family Story by Roger Rosenblatt. HarperCollins, ©2010. ISBN 9780061825934 (hardcover), 166p.

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